Chef John's Terrifying Zombie Meatloaf

Preheat your oven to 325°F (165°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper for easy cleanup.

In a pan over medium-high heat, melt butter. Sauté diced onions, celery, mushrooms, and 1 teaspoon of salt until the vegetables have released their moisture and start to brown, about 5 to 7 minutes. Add garlic, black pepper, thyme, and cayenne pepper. Remove from heat and let it cool to room temperature, roughly 10 minutes.

In a large bowl, combine the remaining 2 teaspoons of salt, ground beef, breadcrumbs, egg, buttermilk, 2 tablespoons of ketchup, and Worcestershire sauce. Add the cooled vegetable mixture and mix everything together by hand until well combined. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

Cut 2 round slices, about 1/2-inch thick, from the second onion to create the zombie's eyes. Push a clove into the center of each slice. From the rest of the onion, cut a 1-inch-wide section and dice it into chunks to make the zombie’s teeth.

Shape the meatloaf mixture into a zombie skull on the prepared baking sheet, using damp hands to mold it 3 to 4 inches tall. Create indentations for the eyes, nose, and mouth. Cover the face with strips of bacon, leaving only the eyes and mouth exposed. Insert the onion eyes and teeth. Tuck the bacon ends under the sides using a spatula. Cover the onion eyes with foil to prevent them from browning during baking.

Bake in the preheated oven until the meatloaf reaches an internal temperature of 155°F (68°C), approximately 1 hour.