I used DNA testing to trace my birth family, which took me on a journey across three continents

Sending my DNA samples to genetic testing companies in search of my birth family set me on an unexpected adventure spanning three continents.

I was adopted at birth in California in 1961. For years, I tried to find my birth family, but sealed records and secretive officials kept me from success. In the last decade, however, home DNA testing and easier access to public records have made a huge difference.

I spit into plastic tubes (one for each major U.S. DNA testing service: 23andMe and Ancestry.com), mailed them off, and waited with anticipation. When the email arrived in early 2022, I was shocked by the results.

After believing for my entire life that I was just a regular White American, I discovered that my birth mother was from Iowa, but my father was North African.

I contacted anonymous DNA matches through 23andMe and Ancestry’s messaging platforms, but received no responses. After weeks of digging through Ancestry.com and various public records, I eventually tracked down both my parents and gathered contact details for several of their close relatives.

I learned that my birth father had been born in the mid-1930s in Casablanca. My mind wandered to romantic images of Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, escaping the Nazis in a fictional setting.

The records revealed that he had moved to the United States in 1959 and settled in San Francisco. My mother, raised in San Diego, had also relocated to San Francisco right after high school. But why did he leave Morocco? What brought her to San Francisco? I needed to find out.

The First Step

After days of worrying about the best and worst-case scenarios, I wrote out scripts for how to approach my genetically close family members who likely had no idea I existed. Then, with great hesitation, I made contact.

To my immense relief, both my mother's and father's families accepted me with warmth, despite their shock at my unexpected existence.

I soon found out that both of my biological parents had passed away, and I was heartbroken knowing that I would never have the chance to meet them. I couldn’t help but wonder: would things have turned out differently if I had started my search earlier?

However, I was overjoyed to learn that all of their siblings were still alive.

From my newly discovered family, I pieced together a rough outline of my parents' lives: On opposite sides of the globe, they had both clashed with difficult parents and left home at the first chance they got. Ultimately, they both ended up in one of the most open-minded places on Earth: San Francisco.

He worked as a floor installer in North Beach, while she worked as a cocktail waitress and dancer. I imagined them meeting when he was installing floors in a nightclub where she was performing.

From what I gathered, it seems like it must have been a short-lived romance. My father was already living with another girlfriend, and my mother’s sister says she never heard my mother mention him. Aside from her sister and mother, no one in my mother’s family knew she was pregnant, and my father’s family is certain he was never told either.

There were other surprises: I was told my mother never had another child, nor did she ever have a serious relationship again. On my father’s side, I was stunned to discover I had a half-brother, half-sister, and dozens of cousins in France and Morocco.

They invited me to visit. I immediately booked a trip to meet my father's large, warm family.

'I was welcomed with open arms'

In Paris, a cousin hosted an energetic party at her sunny suburban home, where I was embraced warmly by the entire French side of the family. They shared personalized tips about hidden gems in the city, pointing out places to visit and things to do off the beaten path.

Following their advice, I spent an afternoon in Buttes-Chaumont, a sprawling and picturesque park in eastern Paris. For dinner, I dined at a French working-class restaurant (a bouillon, named after the broth), called Julien. It was my third visit to Paris, but this time, I experienced it with fresh perspective, imagining myself as an honorary son of the city.

Morocco felt like a completely different world. Having never visited a Muslim country or traveled beyond Europe and the Americas, the experience was a unique blend of unfamiliar adventure and comforting travel, with family there to guide and protect me.

I spent the first six days in Dar Bouazza, a coastal resort town about 45 minutes from Casablanca. My large Moroccan family owns several neighboring summer homes, just steps from the beach. These homes were built on land my grandfather purchased nearly a century ago, when it was considered worthless, as a refuge from the summer heat of Casablanca.

French is the primary language spoken in the family, and my aunts and uncles don’t speak English. There was usually a younger cousin available to translate, but group conversations at the table or on the back deck were always in French, leaving me on the sidelines. I decided I would learn conversational French by my next visit.

Despite the language barrier, I bonded with everyone – the serious uncle, the nurturing aunts, and the mischievous cousin. I recognized many of their traits and habits – their boldness, curiosity, and cunning – in myself.

I spent nearly a week indulging in authentic Moroccan delicacies like lamb tajine (slow-cooked with vegetables in a traditional ceramic dish) and pastilla (spiced, shredded chicken or game bird wrapped in filo pastry), all cooked and served on seaside terraces by the small household staff typical of middle-class Moroccan homes.

Discovering a new homeland

However, I wanted to explore more of my father's homeland, so I embarked on a tour of Fez and Marrakech organized by a cousin and her husband, who run a luxury travel company.

Both cities were breathtaking and awe-inspiring, foreign yet strangely familiar. I experienced them in a deeply personal way, thanks to my DNA journey: as a son, just one generation removed from his father's homeland.

Professional guides tailored tours to match my interests and the culture and history of my newfound family, even including a visit to my family’s ancestral mausoleum in Fez.

I explored the vibrant medinas (markets) of the cities, where the guides introduced me to local shopkeepers using my new family name. I admired magnificent mosques and unexpected treasures like Marrakech’s largest Jewish temple, Synagogue Lazama. I also watched artisans craft pottery, leather, and textiles the same way they have for centuries.

The tour’s highlight was a detour to the ancient Roman ruins of Volubilis, located between Fez and Rabat. Abandoned by the Romans in the third century and only excavated in the early 20th century, seeing the intact walls, foundations, and floor mosaics on-site – something unimaginable in the Americas – was a dream come true for a history enthusiast like me.

The tour concluded with a hike in the High Atlas Mountains, where I spent an afternoon with a local family who taught me the art of Berber cooking, showing me how to prepare lamb and vegetables in a traditional Moroccan tagine.

The family patriarch even lent me a djellaba, a traditional Moroccan robe, for a photo, which felt oddly both out of place and deeply comforting – an experience that perfectly summed up the entire journey.

DNA travelers, beware.

Taking a home DNA test could set you off on an unexpected adventure – whether you plan for it or not.

Former Dinogo correspondent Samuel Burke created an entire podcast series, 'Suddenly Family,' in collaboration with Dinogo Philippines, exploring the unexpected, and sometimes shocking, revelations that can arise from DNA testing.

“DNA testing has the potential to open up a Pandora’s Box that the industry rarely discusses,” he remarked.

Burke explained that some people simply want to know about genetic health risks they may inherit. However, many are more curious about their ethnic backgrounds, wanting to discover how Irish, Jewish, or Native American they are. But he warned that few realize how these tests can connect them to other people in surprising ways.

No matter how much you think you know about your family history, DNA testing can reveal unexpected truths. Burke highlights discoveries like learning a parent was unfaithful, or that you were conceived through artificial insemination. In some cases, you may even find out you're not biologically related to one of your parents.

Burke advises that being prepared is crucial to navigate potential surprises and challenges along the way.

“Prepare for the unexpected,” Burke advises. He also suggests that if you suspect bad news, you can choose not to share the results. The best advice he’s heard while covering DNA stories is simply to “slow down.” Avoid rushing into conclusions and sharing your findings hastily.

Whether or not your DNA journey takes unexpected turns, it can lead to fascinating travel experiences, both across the country and, in my case, around the world.

What I discovered during my journey is that the true highlight – even more than the destinations you explore – is the connections you make with people. Your newly discovered family, who share your roots yet bring their own unique perspectives and experiences.