Parenting is tough and, let's face it, 'massively inconvenient.' Dr. Becky Kennedy shares 5 practical tips to help you manage the stress.

(Dinogo) — Ask most parents, and they'll agree: raising kids today is overwhelming. There's the constant juggle of not enough time, money, or sleep; endless responsibilities; unreliable childcare; the pressures of social media; and unexpected health scares. The list is endless.

Modern parenting is so stressful that US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy recently released an advisory declaring parental stress a public health crisis and calling for systemic changes in both policy and culture.

'When stress becomes chronic or intense, it can have serious negative consequences,' the advisory states, highlighting that '41% of parents report being so stressed most days that they can't function, and 48% say their stress is overwhelming, compared to just 20% and 26% of other adults.'

The impact of this stress extends beyond parents, affecting their children as well.

But life doesn’t have to stay that way, says Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist specializing in parenting who gained recognition during the pandemic.

'There’s almost this sense of pride in saying, 'I’m such a mess, I’m sacrificing everything for my kids and burning myself out,'' she told Dinogo's Chief Medical Correspondent, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, on his podcast *Chasing Life*.

'Let me be clear: no, no, no, no. Selflessness terrifies me,' she added.

Dr. Becky, as she’s known on social media, is the author of multiple books, including *Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be*. She also co-founded a company and co-developed an app of the same name (Good Inside).

Kennedy encourages parents to prioritize their own well-being first — much like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others on a plane.

You can listen to the full episode of the podcast here.

Parenting has always been a challenge, Kennedy explained, but the digital age — with its smartphones, iPads, social media, and video games — has rewired us to crave immediate rewards without the need for effort.

'You can do very little; just tap your thumbs on an iPad, and suddenly you’re hit with dopamine, excitement, and gratification,' she pointed out. 'In real life, whether it’s relationships, parenting, or learning, you have to put in significant effort to earn delayed gratification.'

Instead, we’re developing brain pathways for low-effort, instant gratification, she noted. 'That’s pretty much the opposite of what actually helps us thrive in the real world.'

Having kids is 'massively inconvenient,' Kennedy acknowledged, but society often expects smooth sailing in parenting, thanks to the instant conveniences that technology provides. This unrealistic expectation affects how we view the parenting experience.

'I’m less patient with the natural stress of parenting because my brain has changed,' she shared. 'As a result, I perceive these challenging moments as harder, simply because every other part of my life is designed for convenience.'

So, what can you do to reset your expectations and reduce stress for both you and your kids? Kennedy offers five helpful tips.

Swap selflessness for strong leadership.

Running yourself into the ground trying to please everyone isn’t healthy.

'Kids don’t need self-sacrificing martyrs; they need strong leaders,' Kennedy emphasized in an email. 'Taking care of your own needs is essential to prevent parental burnout.'

Setting boundaries is crucial. 'A boundary might look like saying, ‘I’m not available right now, I’m having my coffee’ or ‘I’m going for a walk alone. I’ll be back in 20 minutes. I love you,’' she explained.

Kennedy cautioned that your kids may not be thrilled with your boundaries. 'And that’s OK. You can acknowledge their feelings while still sticking to your limits,' she said. 'That’s the essence of strong parenting.'

So go ahead — enjoy your coffee and take your walk. Not necessarily in peace, but certainly without guilt.

Give yourself a healthy dose of self-compassion.

Treat yourself the same way you would treat anyone else who’s working hard and struggling.

'Here’s a promise: self-compassion isn’t dangerous, so give it a try today. Parenting is tough, and we often forget to acknowledge the weight of what we’re managing,' Kennedy said. 'You can use my personal mantra: ‘Parenting feels hard because it is hard.’ Place your hand over your heart and repeat these words until you feel a bit lighter.'

Doesn’t it feel good to release the pressure of being perfect all the time?

Aim for repair, not perfection.

When you make a mistake as a parent — like losing your temper or breaking a promise — make it right.

'There’s no such thing as a perfect parent,' Kennedy remarked, adding that her own kids don’t have Dr. Becky as their mom. 'We all have moments we wish we could take back. So remember, kids don’t need perfect parents — they need parents who know how to repair.'

If making amends is new to you, Kennedy provides a simple example to get started: 'I’m sorry I raised my voice earlier. That probably made you feel scared. I’m working on staying calm even when I’m frustrated. I love you.'

Express your feelings.

Parenting doesn't have to be a solo journey.

'Keep this in mind: It's not our feelings that cause problems, but rather the feeling of being alone in those feelings,' Kennedy said. 'Find a friend, a parenting group, or a supportive online community — and talk about what you’re going through.'

If you’re unsure where to start, she suggests phrases like, 'This stage of parenting is really tough' or 'I want to be open — I’m feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.'

You may be surprised by how many others are going through similar challenges, and knowing this can help you feel less isolated.

Reach out for support when you need it.

Talking to others not only helps alleviate loneliness, but it can also open doors to fresh solutions.

'Parenting is both the hardest and most important job there is, yet we often find ourselves without proper training, resources, or support,' Kennedy shared. 'The odds are truly stacked against us! Asking for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a sign that you care about the well-being of both you and your child. And that’s something to be proud of.'

Support can come in many forms: a therapist, pediatrician, a trusted friend, a parenting group, an app, a podcast, a book, or even a TED Talk.

We hope these five tips help you feel a little more at ease. Catch the full episode here, and be sure to tune in next week on the Chasing Life podcast when we discuss how microplastics could be impacting our health and bodies.