The surprising romance between a Pan Am flight attendant and a CIA agent aboard a plane

In September of 1970, Jocelyne Nowaski was serving as the chief flight attendant on a Pan Am flight from Paris to New York, an ordinary day that would soon take an extraordinary turn.

By the age of 23, Jocelyne had already traveled the world with Pan Am, making friends in every corner of the globe, meeting stars like Ringo Starr, and even appearing with her colleagues in Paris Match magazine.

Her Pan Am layovers were a passport to adventure, from exploring the vibrant markets of Morocco and going on safaris in Nairobi, to horseback riding on the beaches of Barbados, swimming in Liberia, and haggling over jewels in Beirut.

Jocelyne never planned for a career in aviation. Originally a biology major at New York City’s College of Mount St. Vincent, she had aspirations of becoming a doctor before the flight attendant path found her by chance.

Just before graduation, a friend knocked on her door and mentioned that a prestigious airline was holding interviews for flight attendants at its iconic Manhattan tower.

Her friend persuaded her to give it a shot, just for fun.

With a shrug, Jocelyne agreed, remembering the sleek advertisements: 'Your Pan Am stewardess knows the world like you know your neighborhood.'

To be eligible for the Pan Am flight attendant role, applicants had to have a college degree and speak a second language. Thanks to her French-Canadian mother, Jocelyne met both requirements.

She was hired—her friend wasn’t—and within weeks of graduation and completing intense training, Jocelyne was onboard her first flight, a Boeing 727 bound for Nassau in the Bahamas.

Jocelyne never pursued a career in medicine and never had any regrets about it.

Looking back, she says, 'It was the best job I ever had,' sharing with Dinogo Travel. 'It didn’t feel like work; it was pure passion.'

In September 1970, romance was far from Jocelyne’s thoughts. After ending a relationship with a pilot six months prior, she was relishing her adventures around the globe with friends, fully focused on her career.

That fall, rising concerns over airplane hijackings, sparked by the September 6, 1970 events, led to the creation of a formal air security initiative.

In the meantime, armed professionals from agencies like the CIA and FBI were temporarily assigned to flights for extra security.

In mid-September, as Jocelyne made her way back to JFK from Paris, she remembers being informed that two security officers would be accompanying the flight—one in economy and the other in first class.

Jocelyne, as the purser in the economy cabin, was preparing for takeoff. The Boeing 707, a narrow-body airliner that Pan Am had used since 1958, was fully boarded and ready for departure.

The security officers, however, were running late, which irritated Jocelyne. Her frustration grew when she learned they were delayed because they had been buying scarves in Paris to impress women back home.

When the security officer finally boarded, he introduced himself as Tyler Harding. Dressed sharply in a suit and tie, with a tan overcoat draped over his arm, he made an immediate impression.

Jocelyne remembers being immediately taken by his charm and good looks, but she wasn’t looking for romance and didn’t believe he was truly interested in her either.

'I was working alongside some Swedish girls, and they were absolutely gorgeous,' she laughs. 'I didn’t even think about competing with them.'

Tyler settled into the second-to-last row as the plane took off, bidding farewell to the glowing lights of Paris and heading across the Atlantic.

Air marshals are trained to blend into the background, so Jocelyne treated Tyler just like any other passenger. But unlike the others, he made an effort to start a conversation every time she passed by.

'He was really flirty,' Jocelyne recalls. 'I wasn’t. I thought, 'He’s just doing this to get my colleagues' attention.''

This suspicion, combined with his scarf shopping, made her cautious. She kept her responses short, even teasing him about his choice of drink. 'He was very polite, despite my sarcasm,' she laughs.

As the plane leveled off over the Atlantic, Jocelyne and her team began the dinner service. Tyler, however, continued to strike up conversations whenever she passed by.

After serving the meal, Jocelyne went through her usual routine of checking the cabin. As she walked down the aisles, she glanced at Tyler. He wasn’t looking at her, but something made her pause—an unexpected thought: 'I wonder what it would be like to be married to him?'

She quickly snapped herself out of it. 'What are you thinking? You don’t even know this guy,' she thought to herself.

Yet, despite her attempt to dismiss it, Jocelyne couldn’t shake the strange sense of certainty that a future with Tyler wasn’t just possible—it was destined to happen.

Later, as she sat on the jump seat near the top of the plane, Tyler joined her and asked if she’d like to go out with him.

'I don’t date passengers,' she replied. 'And you’re probably married anyway.'

Tyler pointed out that he wasn’t exactly a passenger. When Jocelyne remained unconvinced, he pulled out his passport, which at the time listed dependents—or in his case, the absence of them.

The passport stated he was 29 years old and a resident of Alexandria, Virginia.

Jocelyne was relieved, but still hesitant about dating someone she barely knew. Sensing her reluctance, Tyler backed off and returned to his seat.

As the plane neared Long Island and the lights of New York City came into view, it was time for Jocelyne’s final drink service, with a teapot in one hand and a coffee pot in the other.

When she reached Tyler, he requested coffee.

'As I was pouring coffee into his cup, he looked up at me with those captivating blue eyes,' Jocelyne recalls. 'Naturally, I ended up pouring the coffee into his cup—but unfortunately, I also spilled tea into his lap at the same time.'

Mortified, Jocelyne rushed to grab cloth napkins from the back of the plane and handed them to him.

Tyler reassured her not to worry, though he was laughing. 'Now you have to go out with me,' he teased.

Blushing, Jocelyne avoided the question and went to confide in her friend Mala, the purser in first class.

Mala suggested that they invite both security officers to a crew party she was planning at her apartment in Queens once they landed.

Jocelyne agreed to Mala's suggestion and went back to economy to pass along the address to Tyler before quickly preparing for the final descent.

After landing, Jocelyne couldn’t find him in the bustling crowd. Disappointed, she made her way from JFK to Mala’s apartment, only to find he was nowhere to be seen as the party began. Then, the doorbell rang.

It was Tyler, accompanied by his fellow security officer.

'It took my breath away. It really did,' Jocelyne recalls.

Without hesitation, the two men made their way to the kitchen and started chatting over cocktails.

'I was leaning against Mala’s stove with my back to the counter, and he was standing in front of me. We must have talked for about three hours,' Jocelyne recalls.

They talked about everything – their childhoods (hers in New York, his in California), their families, dreams, travels, and careers.

The only topic they avoided was the true nature of his job – Tyler couldn’t disclose he worked for the CIA, something she learned much later.

Tyler and Jocelyne paid no attention to the party chaos around them, lost in their conversation.

'At the end of the evening, he looked at me and said, ‘Will you marry me?’'

Her response, she says, came out instinctively, filled with clarity and certainty. 'I said, ‘Yes.’'

A romance that spanned the globe.

After the party, Tyler and his colleague drove Jocelyne back to her parents’ house in New York, where she couldn’t resist sharing her life-changing news.

'I just met the man I’m going to marry,' she told her mother, who responded with a laugh.

'Oh, you’re out of your mind. It doesn’t happen like that,' her mother replied.

The very next day, Tyler stopped by to visit Jocelyne and meet her parents, where he immediately got along with them as well.

Neither Tyler nor Jocelyne had much time to spend in New York before they were off on their next work assignments—he to Tehran and she to Rome.

'I can’t actually marry you yet,' Jocelyne told him before he left. 'That would be absurd.'

Tyler simply smiled and left his 1968 Mustang parked in her parents’ driveway.

In Rome, Jocelyne had plans with a man she’d been casually seeing during her Italian layovers.

'He had a whole weekend planned to take me in his sports car along the Amalfi Coast,' she remembers.

Upon arriving in Italy, she called him and, despite his protests, informed him she wouldn't be able to join him after all.

Instead, she spent the weekend exploring Rome with Mala and her other Pan Am colleagues, strolling through the city, tossing coins into the Trevi Fountain, and enjoying delicious pasta dinners.

When Jocelyne returned to New York, Tyler reached out to her immediately. He claimed it was to pick up his car, but they both knew that wasn’t the real reason.

The two began dating, spending as much time together as possible when they weren’t traveling for work.

That October, just a few weeks after they met, Tyler proposed to Jocelyne again – and this time, she accepted with complete certainty.

They shared the news with their parents on Thanksgiving, and on Christmas Eve 1970, Tyler met Jocelyne at JFK with an engagement ring in hand.

Jocelyne and Tyler were married in March 1971 at the chapel of the College of Mount St. Vincent. For their honeymoon, they flew to Fiji, using Jocelyne’s Pan Am discount to travel first class and enjoy eight days of relaxation.

Back in the U.S., Jocelyne moved to Alexandria, Virginia, where Tyler was based, but she still flew out of New York.

"We were always on the move," recalls Jocelyne. "Tyler was often away on CIA assignments, and I remember that first Christmas, he was gone for three months on a mission to Laos. That was really hard."

Whenever she could, Jocelyne made sure to take round-the-world flights from New York, so she would also be away for weeks, traveling from New York to Tokyo and back.

As Tyler's assignment in Laos came to an end, Jocelyne decided to surprise him with a visit that hadn’t been planned.

"I remember thinking, 'I can't believe I'm actually doing this,' especially with the war going on there at the time. But I did it, I met him, and we returned home together after his assignment. From that moment on, it’s been a whirlwind."

In March 2021, Jocelyne, now 74, and Tyler, 80, will celebrate fifty years of marriage.

"I can’t believe it’s been fifty years already," she says. "I really can’t believe it."

The glamour of Pan Am

Jocelyne continued her career with Pan Am for a year after getting married. At the time, regulations had recently changed, allowing married women to remain on as flight crew members.

However, she left the airline in 1972 when Tyler's job relocated him to Thailand.

Jocelyne parted ways with her wings with a heavy heart, but soon embraced the adventure of a new life in Southeast Asia. Their first daughter was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, during this time.

After some time in Hawaii, Tyler and Jocelyne returned to Virginia, where they had their second daughter. But it wasn’t long before they moved again, this time to Frankfurt, Germany.

Jocelyne remembers how much the kids enjoyed their weekends, as the family traveled all over—visiting France, exploring different parts of Germany, and even Switzerland.

In the late 1970s, the couple purchased a piece of farmland in Maryland from the uncle of one of Jocelyne's old Pan Am friends, where they built the home they still reside in today.

Jocelyne remains close to many of her former Pan Am colleagues, including Mala. She is an active member of World Wings International, a network of retired Pan Am flight attendants.

She laughs, saying, 'We still know how to entertain better than anyone else.'

The glamorous reputation of Pan Am has endured long after the airline's final flight, and Jocelyne believes this legacy is well-earned.

Jocelyne remembers how everything on the plane was designed to delight customers and exude elegance. 'We served the finest wines and the best of everything,' she says. 'Even Paris Maxim’s handled our catering. It was all so refined and special—everyone dressed up.'

Jocelyne had the honor of working on the inaugural 747 flight between New York and Paris. It was a press flight where passengers enjoyed Moët Chandon Champagne and caviar from Tehran. It was during this flight that she was featured in Paris Match magazine.

'We were interviewed as we disembarked. It was incredibly exciting,' Jocelyne recalls. 'The 747 was a marvel, and while I loved that plane, I still missed the intimate vibe of the 707.'

She fondly recalls how her team wore special buttons promoting the 747, proudly displaying them on their lapels. Their uniforms were either blue or tan, complete with gold Pan Am wings.

Jocelyne and Tyler now have five grandchildren in addition to their two daughters. The whole family shares a passion for travel. One daughter spent twenty years living in France, Istanbul, and Warsaw, while the other took a year to backpack around the world after graduation.

While the pandemic has kept the family grounded in the US for now, there are still destinations on their bucket list. For Jocelyne, it's Bhutan, and for Tyler, it's Australia, where they have family.

Tyler now experiences some memory loss, but he still fondly recalls the unforgettable flight in 1970 from Paris to New York.

'I noticed this cute girl, but she was a bit cold towards me,' Tyler laughs. 'We had a chat after we landed, and from that moment on, we never stopped talking.'

'It’s been an incredible journey, and I wouldn’t change a thing,' Jocelyne reflects with a smile, before letting out a soft laugh.

'And, of course, I ended up with all those scarves he bought,' she adds with a chuckle.