10 Irritating Behaviors You Might Exhibit at a Bar, According to Bartenders

Dealing with customers can be tough — anyone familiar with the service industry knows this. Standing for long hours, handling unhappy customers, and meeting high expectations is challenging, regardless of your passion for the job. This becomes even trickier when alcohol is in the mix. While there are clear boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, we sometimes unintentionally irritate bartenders. To help you refine your bar etiquette, we consulted several bartenders about what they wish patrons would refrain from doing.

 1. Snapping, Shouting, or Whistling

Gestures that are rude won't help you get your bartender’s attention. Ray Tremblay, the corporate beverage director of COJE Management Group, emphasizes that this approach will only delay your service. Instead, Jessica King, co-owner of Brother Wolf, recommends that customers set their phones aside and establish eye contact. Bartenders often survey the area, and “no amount of waving, whistling, or shouting can compete with a direct gaze.”

2. Inappropriate Touching and Remarks

This should be obvious, but please keep your hands to yourself. Touching a bartender is not acceptable. Additionally, refrain from making comments about their appearance — objectifying anyone, bartender or not, is inappropriate and unnecessary. Telling someone to smile is also not needed.

3. Not Knowing What to Order After Getting a Bartender’s Attention

If you have questions, that's perfectly fine. However, as a general rule, be prepared to order when you’ve caught a bartender's attention. Trevor Easton Langer, head bartender at Jac’s on Bond, notes that this is especially crucial during busy times and when ordering for a large group.

 4. Handling the Garnishes

Simply put, garnish stations are not for personal use. Tremblay points out that “bartenders wash their hands hundreds of times each night while cleaning their tools and ensuring that [their] areas are hygienic. When people put their hands in our garnishes, we have to discard the entire batch.” It boils down to basic courtesy: “If you really need an olive or a slice of fruit, please just ask.”

5. Undermining the Profession

During casual chats, some seemingly harmless questions can be quite insensitive. Sam Lee, principal bartender at Yvonne’s, notes that questions like “What’s your plan after bartending?” or “Did you go to school?” can feel demoralizing and disrespectful. “As a professional in the service industry, I’ve built my career on this and dedicated countless hours to education, certification, and mastering the art of hospitality,” Lee explains. Assuming that bartenders are just passing through to some other grand ambition is not only presumptuous but also unfair.

6. Theft

Petty theft is not only illegal but can also severely impact businesses. Head bartender Laura Unterberg notes that the Fox Bar & Cocktail Club spends thousands annually replacing stolen glassware, garnish picks, menus, and more. “For a small business that covers employee health care and staff events, that money could be utilized much more effectively.”

7. Labeling a Drink as “Girly”

There’s no reason to feel embarrassed about your drink order or its presentation. While Lee acknowledges that this mindset is diminishing, some patrons still request specific glassware or remove flowers from their drinks. “As a cocktail lover, I believe everyone should feel free to enjoy a colorful, fruity, fun, and, heaven forbid, pink drink,” Lee expresses. “The idea that an orchid or a stemmed glass could offend is both amusing and unfortunate to me.”

8. Ignoring the Atmosphere

While bartenders will agree that you should spend your money as you wish, there are certain drinks you shouldn’t order at a busy bar, such as the time-consuming Ramos Gin Fizz. When orders are flooding in every few seconds, time is essential, and the last thing you want to do is delay service.

9. Grooving in the Bar Area

It’s totally fine to sway or do a little dance while waiting for your drink. However, don’t clear out a whole area for yourself and a friend when it’s crowded, warns Josee Moua Do, a former bartender who is now a caterer. This also includes not blocking staff walkways with your moves. Be considerate of other patrons waiting to order and the employees who need to navigate their duties.

10. Over-the-Top PDA

A quick kiss or peck is perfectly acceptable, but if things get too heated, it’s time to step outside. “Making out at the bar becomes really uncomfortable; the atmosphere shifts,” Do cautions, “nobody enjoys it, just go home!”