Exploring Gender Fluidity, Travel, and Alok Vaid-Menon's Texas Roots

Among the South Asian influencers I follow on Instagram, Alok Vaid-Menon always makes me pause my scrolling.

Alok is a writer, performer, and artist who embodies gender nonconformity and transfeminine identity. Their work evokes two key themes: joy and nuance. Grounded in love and radical acceptance, Alok often responds to transphobic remarks with, “I love you more than you could ever hate me.”

The universe Alok creates is vibrant, filled with innovative ideas, and devoid of judgment. Their wardrobe and makeup burst with color and sparkle; their circle of friends and collaborators is wonderfully diverse; and their speeches are profoundly enlightening. This made me wonder: How does someone like Alok perceive travel? How, in turn, does travel shape their perspective?

So, I reached out—and the resulting conversation was deeply moving. I hope it resonates with you just as profoundly.

Can you introduce yourself, Alok?

I’ve always identified as an artist. My mission is to address the global crisis of loneliness, and I deeply believe in the transformative power of love.

Could you tell us about your childhood?

I grew up in a small Texas town where I often felt out of place. This experience helped me cultivate a more flexible understanding of home. For me, home transcended my physical environment; it became an internal sense of safety and self-awareness that I could carry with me. I began writing poetry around the age of 11 or 12, and it became my salvation. It revealed to me that beauty was attainable, despite the hardships. I learned to transform pain into something beautiful, teaching me the duality of existence: that life can be both deeply painful and remarkably beautiful, often simultaneously.

In what ways, if any, did your cultural background shape your upbringing?

This question is challenging for me. Growing up as part of multiple diasporas, I developed a blended cultural identity. It’s difficult to separate which trait belongs to which culture, as everything is intertwined. What I can share is that I was raised in a close-knit Indian community in Texas and frequently visited family in India, Canada, and the U.K. This gave me a profound understanding that the world extends far beyond my small town, revealing numerous ways to think, look, act, eat, and simply be. Despite the negativity from bullies, I felt connected to something larger than myself—something vibrant and extraordinary.

How do you perceive your identity today, and how does it influence your experience of the world?

I don’t often reflect on my identity in solitude. Instead, I focus on what inspires me, striving to cultivate joy and wonder wherever I am. My identity becomes a topic of consideration mainly when it’s thrust upon me—when slurs are hurled my way on the street, when forms demand I choose a gender, or when someone asks, “What are you?” It also comes into play when laws seek to erase my existence.

I yearn to navigate the world fluidly, but society often confines us into rigid categories, making it incredibly challenging. Humor has been my trusty companion as I traverse the predetermined pathways of identity. In other words, each day is filled with comedic inspiration. You think I look silly? The real absurdity lies in a world that assigns gender to inanimate objects and emotions.

What role does travel play in your life?

As a touring artist, I'm always on the go. Last year alone, I visited 26 countries, from Namibia to the Netherlands. Travel has become a fundamental part of my artistic practice, both practically (I’ve learned which lightweight heels to bring on tour) and poetically (I’ve discovered that on the road, we explore not only new external places but also new internal landscapes). My curiosity about the world is insatiable: how it breathes and how it mourns. While I’m often invited to share my work, what I treasure most is the chance to dive into new environments and dialogues, to continually learn from the people I meet. Humanity astounds me, and memories serve as my favorite souvenirs, weaving through every sentence I craft.

Have you visited India and/or Malaysia as an adult? If so, what was that experience like?

I traveled to Malaysia nearly a decade ago with my father, marking my first and only visit. We explored his old schools, met his friends and family—it provided a deeper understanding of him and, in turn, of myself. And the food? Absolutely divine.

I aim to visit India every year; earlier this year, I spent a month touring there with my comedy and poetry. These journeys are among the most meaningful for me, particularly the opportunity to collaborate with local artists. The creative community in India is absolutely remarkable. During my latest trip, I designed a jewelry collaboration with Mumbai’s Papa Don’t Preach, which was a dream realized.

Have any of your travel experiences shifted your views on gender and racial identity or impacted your perspective on life in a significant way?

Every place I’ve visited has profoundly influenced me. When I reflect on my travels, it’s not just the landscapes I remember, but the people and the conversations we shared—they shape my identity. One particularly pivotal location for me is South Africa, where I’ve been for the past 12 years, collaborating with their trans movement and local trans and gender nonconforming artists. Many are unaware that gender nonconforming individuals played a vital role in the anti-apartheid movement. In the West, we often overlook the depth of gender nonconformity and transfemininity, dismissing them as trivial. However, before colonization, these identities held sacred significance.

Speaking of shifting perspectives, I’ve always appreciated the “book reports” you occasionally share on Instagram. I’m curious about how they originated and what you aim to achieve with them in your advocacy work?

The quarantine of 2020–2021 marked the first time in years that I was anchored in one place for an extended period. The closest I got to traveling was through reading. I embarked on a journey from one book to the next, ultimately devouring over a hundred. This was the kind of reading I cherish most: pursuing an idea wherever it led me. A footnote would spark a new book recommendation, and off I’d go again. Like gender, genre is merely a suggestion; I jumped from history to literature to philosophy to economics. There was no set destination—I simply craved knowledge. I rediscovered my childhood wonder for reading and realized that learning is one of life’s greatest treasures. I felt compelled to share my discoveries with others, hoping to inspire a sense of awe that the world is far more vast and intricate than we ever imagined. Thus, the book reports were born.

Lastly, I have a question from a nonbinary friend who greatly admires you: How do you maintain hope when the world feels overwhelming?

I immerse myself in LGBTQ history. I remind myself that there have been countless moments in our past when things felt dire and unchangeable, yet our transcestors persevered. I study how they managed to endure: the humor they found, the images they created, the communities they nurtured. I also recognize how fortunate I am to be part of that legacy and how crucial it is for me to do everything in my power to keep that lineage alive.