Avalon Castle and Spa in Ubud—where do I even begin? I recently stayed here with five friends - and let me be frank: I did not choose this venue, nor would I have if I’d simply read the website beforehand. The website alone would have been enough to deter me, and unfortunately, my experience largely aligned with those initial misgivings.Let's start with the description on their website. They boast, "Avalon is designed as a private retreat center specifically for improved learning, to support greater team connection and the mindset required to make positive changes in leading and connecting with people." Excuse me, but what exactly is this corporate mumbo-jumbo supposed to convey? Rather than offering practical information about the villas or amenities, the site focuses on massaging the ego of one individual, Arthur Carmazzi, who is apparently integral to the retreat’s philosophy. Here’s the thing: I’m not interested in who Mr. Carmazzi is, and I highly doubt most potential guests are either. When choosing a place to stay in Ubud, what truly matters is the quality of the accommodation, not some pretentious lecture on the "science of group dynamics."In over 30 years of traveling for both business and pleasure, my requirements remain fairly simple: clean linens, fresh towels, reliable WiFi, a room free from pests, and hot water for showers. These are the bare essentials. Unfortunately, Avalon fell short on many of these fronts. Yes, we were close to nature—Ubud's charm largely comes from its jungle-like surroundings—but that doesn't excuse the ant infestation in our rooms. Nor does it explain why the WiFi kept cutting off every 30 seconds, a source of endless frustration.One of the biggest letdowns was the condition of the towels and linens. I can appreciate that Avalon is attempting an "authentic" Balinese feel, but there’s nothing authentic or charming about towels that are stained and grey, or bed linens that have clearly seen better days. For the prices Avalon charges, new towels and decent bedding should be non-negotiable. These may seem like small details, but they are the very basics of hospitality.To me, Avalon feels like the unfortunate result of yet another well-off westerner deciding to build a home in an Asian hotspot and turning it into a business without truly understanding what makes a successful hospitality venture. Sure, the place has potential. The setting is beautiful, and with some thoughtful attention to detail, Avalon could be a much more pleasant experience. But all the psychology jargon and gimmicks in the world can’t hide the fact that the basics are sorely lacking.That said, I must give credit where credit is due. On a more positive note, one of our group members planned to propose to his girlfriend during our stay. The manager was absolutely brilliant in arranging the flower decorations around the swimming pool and even provided a complimentary bottle of sparkling wine to celebrate the occasion. This thoughtful gesture was much appreciated and showed a real willingness to go the extra mile. The staff, in general, were great, and one young woman in particular stood out. She was always smiling, helpful, and truly charming, making our stay feel warmer and more personal despite the venue’s shortcomings.Ultimately, my stay was mildly pleasant at best, but it’s clear that Avalon is resting too heavily on lofty marketing rhetoric and not nearly enough on delivering the essentials that travelers actually want. Perhaps I’ve missed the unique selling point, but all the pomposity surrounding this place leaves me feeling like I’ve been duped by well-crafted pictures and hollow promises. In short: there’s potential here, but much of it remains unrealized. Avalon needs to focus less on corporate waffle and more on the fundamentals of hospitality.