How Should I React When Someone Asks Me for Money While Traveling?

Unpacked is Dinogo’s latest advice column. Each month, our columnist Dr. Anu Taranath addresses an ethical dilemma faced by a reader. Taranath, a speaker, facilitator, and educator from Seattle, focuses on racial equity and social change. She authored the book Beyond Guilt Trips: Mindful Travel in an Unequal World (Between the Lines, 2019). If you have a question you’d like discussed, please send it to [email protected].

Dear Unpacked,

My husband and I visited Colombia from Connecticut in April, and we had an amazing experience. While exploring Cartagena and photographing the city’s iconic doors, a young mother approached us with her baby. She gestured to her baby and her stomach, implying they were hungry, and extended her hand. My heart ached—I remember being a young mother too—and I instantly gave her all the pesos I had. My husband didn’t comment at the moment, but later expressed concern that I might have supported a negative industry. Did I act correctly? — Take My Coins

Dear Take My Coins,

Your inquiry highlights the cognitive dissonance we feel when we contrast the stark inequities of our world. For instance, how is it that some of us, the 'privileged,' can enjoy leisure travel and capture images of iconic doors, while others struggle daily for basic necessities like food, water, and dignity? Who designed this system, and how can we mend it? Such inquiries can overwhelm even the best among us.

Inequality extends beyond mere material possessions; it reflects the values we overemphasize and those we neglect in our societies. As Confucius wisely noted, 'In a well-governed nation, poverty is a source of shame; in a poorly governed one, wealth brings shame.' What does this imply for you, a young mother holding pesos?

Indeed, from a certain viewpoint, your response was completely justified. You were moved by what you observed and affected by another's plight. In a world that often prioritizes profit over human well-being, your empathy toward the young mother is both beautiful and significant. Recognizing ourselves in others with different experiences fosters a sense of connection that can open our hearts and enrich our understanding of ourselves and those around us.

I imagine your decision to share your money was also driven by the young mother's recognition of your privilege. That must have felt uncomfortable, right? Both of you were aware that you possessed more than she did. Confronted with our relative advantages, we can easily feel a swirl of emotions—guilt, shame, and helplessness—alongside discomfort. While you may have given her money to assist, this act might also have served to alleviate the uneasy feelings the encounter stirred in you.

Imagine if you hadn’t offered money to the young mother. Would that have been the wiser choice? Your husband appears wary of the 'harmful industry' that forces or entices people to beg.

We cannot fully grasp the young mother’s circumstances. Did she choose to beg in a busy tourist area because it pays better than other jobs? We don’t know if the pesos will bring her and her child some comfort amidst a tumultuous day. Or is she left with mere cents after giving most of her earnings to a criminal who dictates her family’s fate?

For many facing dire situations without a safety net, the line between choice and coercion is often blurred. Most individuals who resort to begging do so due to profound precarity. While the sources of this vulnerability may vary, the reality is that economic and social instability surpasses any single individual's circumstances. Giving money provides a temporary fix for the recipient but does little to shield them from long-term hardship.

Similarly, ignoring someone who asks for money likely won’t grant them more dignity, opportunities, or safety. We are all minor players in a broader system of inequality that promotes the belief that certain lives are worth more than others. The late global health advocate Paul Farmer poignantly stated, 'The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world.'

You wonder if giving money to the young mother was the right choice. Honestly, I’m not sure there’s a definitive answer. When I travel and face such requests, I often decline. Instead, I seek insight from local friends and colleagues on how socially conscious residents address the inequalities they confront daily. Prior to my travels, I research social justice initiatives in the areas I plan to visit, aiming to identify organizations, NGOs, or philanthropies that provide ethical and thoughtful support to those in need. Across our unequal world, people unite in both small and significant ways to foster stability in their communities. While I may not always know the best course of action in every situation, I am committed to being part of this broader movement, and it seems you feel the same.

If you have an ethical travel question you’d like to explore, please send it to [email protected].