Over the past year, she’s gone on 34 first dates in 19 different countries. Here’s what she’s learned

Last year, Loni James flew from Washington state to London with just a duffel bag, a day pack, and an adventurous plan.

It was late March, and her goal was straightforward: travel the world and have a date with a local in every country she visited.

A few days after arriving in London, she matched with a French-British man on Tinder who was passionate about travel. What started as pints at a pub near Tower Bridge turned into a five-hour dinner date filled with stories of past adventures.

She never saw him again, but that was just the beginning of her journey—a journey without a set itinerary. Over the course of the year, James used Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble to arrange 34 first dates across 19 countries, each one bringing new surprises, cultural experiences, and a bit of romance.

One memorable date took place in Cairo during the holy month of Ramadan—a 13-hour encounter with her first Muslim date. The man captivated her with his radiant smile and a profile filled with quotes from 'Friends.' Her next date in Alexandria was with an Egyptian who unexpectedly confessed he was engaged, spending the evening reminiscing about a past relationship.

“He clearly needed someone to talk to, and I was his safe space,” James reflects. “I’ve had deeply personal conversations with people I knew I’d never see again. There’s something unique about those moments of vulnerability.”

In Verona, Italy, she had a date with a classical musician who whisked her away on a scooter for a nighttime tour of the city’s historical landmarks.

In contrast, a disastrous date in Turkey involved a man who grew angry when she declined his advances, ultimately dropping her off at his paragliding shop and promising to return. He never did. After waiting in a storm for hours, James ended up spending the night on a bench inside the shop.

Her most recent date took place in Cape Town with a South African man who surprised her by pulling out a deck of cards at dinner and performing card tricks at the table.

But for 40-year-old James, even the less-than-ideal dates have been worthwhile, each one offering a unique lesson.

“I used to see dating as a win or lose situation,” she admits. “If a date didn’t lead to a kiss goodnight or a follow-up date, I thought it was a failure. Now, I see it differently. I appreciate the experience for what it is—the chance to connect, for someone to share their time and their story with me.”

“I’ve come to realize that romance takes many shapes,” she says. “It doesn’t need to be extravagant or follow a certain script. For me, it’s all about connection and intention. It’s the person who listens, who makes an effort to bring a smile to your face, who genuinely seeks to understand you.”

The death of her mother inspired her to embrace life and take action.

James' choice to embark on a solo adventure was born from a deep personal loss.

She witnessed her mother struggle with early-onset Alzheimer's from the age of 48 until her passing at 63, just a year and a half ago. This experience pushed James to take charge of her own life and set her dreams in motion.

“My parents did everything ‘right’ according to American standards,” she reflects. “They got married, raised three kids, had good careers, paid off their mortgage... They had big plans for retirement, but my mom didn’t live to see it.”

Without children of her own, James began saving for her journey two years before her mother passed away in October 2021. She moved from Seattle to Spokane, Washington, opting for a more affordable apartment and a roommate. Eventually, she sold everything she owned and moved in with her parents to be by her mother’s side in her final months.

Although she never had the chance to share her travel ambitions with her mother before her passing, James holds on to a piece of wisdom her mother shared with her long before Alzheimer's affected her ability to communicate.

“I once told her about a boy I liked, and she told me to make sure he loved to travel as much as I did,” James recalls. “That moment has stayed with me—despite her illness, she knew how important that was to me in choosing a partner.”

James’ global adventure has taken place during a boom in solo travel, a trend that was partly catalyzed by the pandemic.

Last month, Google searches for “solo travel” in the United States surged to more than triple the volume recorded in March 2020.

“The pandemic created an atmosphere of uncertainty, making group travel less appealing,” says Janice Waugh, the founder and publisher of Solo Traveler. “As people experienced the freedom and personal growth that comes with solo travel, many have chosen to continue traveling alone.”

While it’s common for solo travelers to form romantic or platonic connections, it’s rare to date someone in every country you visit, according to Waugh.

James has fully immersed herself in the solo travel experience, embracing both the highs and the lows. She stays in hostels, Airbnbs, or with friends—and often, friends of friends—always leaving room for the unexpected.

“At the hostel, people just ask around, ‘Who’s free for seven days? Who wants to go here? Anyone up for this?’ And suddenly, you find yourself sharing a car with strangers,” she says.

“I came to understand that long-term travel is completely different from a quick vacation. I wanted to immerse myself in the culture and have a much deeper, more meaningful experience by being on the road for an extended period of time,”

She takes precautions to prioritize her safety

James is transparent with her dates about her goal to date someone in every country she visits. She guarantees their privacy, and apart from a few shared photos, she refuses to provide their contact details to Dinogo.

One of her most unforgettable experiences was the 13-hour date she had last year with a Muslim man in Cairo. Their conversations spanned topics from online dating to Muslim culture and arranged marriages. Since it was Ramadan, they broke their fast together with iftar, the evening meal shared by fasting Muslims after sunset.

“I’ve never had a man put so much thought and effort into a date,” she recalls of their time together, which included visits to museums, a monastery, a rickshaw ride, and a folk-dance performance in the desert. “There was so much food, and it was so colorful. I tried so many new dishes. Egyptian food is incredible.”

Since then, she has gone on dates in Jordan, Cyprus, Turkey, Switzerland, France, Italy, Slovenia, Norway, Iceland, the Azores in Portugal, Morocco, Tunisia, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia, and South Africa.

She documents her adventures on a blog and shares updates on Facebook and Instagram using the hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry, where many women engage with her posts, offering comments and advice.

As a solo female traveler, James is cautious about her safety. She regularly shares her location with friends, limits her alcohol intake, ensures her phone is always charged, and uses a ride-share app to maintain control over her exit strategy from dates.

She communicates with her dates through the apps and only shares her phone number after they've met in person. Additionally, she never allows a date to pick her up from her accommodation.

Waugh, the solo travel expert, advises women to meet their dates in public places and to exercise caution when asking strangers for directions.

“I meet people constantly, and I take the initiative. I believe it’s more likely that someone inappropriate will approach me rather than me choosing them,” says Waugh. “I decide who I engage with, where I go, and where I sit. If I need directions, I prefer to ask a family first, or maybe a couple.”

Although James has never felt unsafe on a date, she has encountered some frustrating situations. Twice, men stood her up – once in Paphos, Cyprus, and again in Cape Town, South Africa.

“It may sound glamorous, and in some cases, it has been,” James reflects. “I’ve gone paragliding in Fethiye, Turkey, and fishing in the Arctic Circle, all on dates. But I’ve also had some pretty bizarre experiences.”

Her travels have given her a new outlook on dating.

Since departing the US in the spring of 2022, James hasn’t looked back. She’s planned several more months of exploration in Africa before heading to Asia, Australia, and South America.

James envisions turning her global dating adventure into a book that is both engaging and insightful.

“Maybe not everyone would pick up a book about Egypt, Namibia, or Tunisia. But perhaps they’d be drawn into my dating story, and if they happen to learn about these countries along the way, that’s a huge bonus,” she says.

“I know Egypt might not be on everyone’s bucket list, nor Morocco or Namibia. But when I write about these places, I hope it sparks curiosity … I want my stories to make people laugh, dream, and maybe even travel across oceans to meet fascinating people.”

For now, she’ll continue her travels, exploring for at least another year. There’s still so much more to discover, so much left to do.

James hasn’t yet found a partner. She remains open to the idea of dating someone who lives abroad. If that happens, she plans to shift to friends-only dates with local women to deepen her understanding of other cultures. Regardless, she’s savoring nearly every part of her journey.

“I love experiencing different races, religions, music, styles, knowledge, and backgrounds,” she says. “There’s so much to learn when you immerse yourself in people from all corners of the world.”

Meeting men from different countries has transformed her view on dating, she shares.

As a younger woman, dating was a means to an end—finding a husband. Now, she says, she sees it as a privilege to listen to someone’s story and connect without the weight of expectations.

“I’ve realized that modern dating struggles are universal,” she says. “Online dating still confuses people, and getting ghosted is a reality. Being stood up sucks, even on a beautiful island. Your insecurities don’t vanish just because you cross an ocean.”

James says she’s grateful she didn’t wait for a partner to start traveling, as she once planned. The past year, she reflects, has been a journey of self-discovery.

“I’ve realized I’m my best self when I’m on the road – more open, more curious,” she shares. “I’m constantly intrigued by how different cultures handle the same things. It’s a constant reminder that there isn’t just one way to do things.”